We did plenty

I have purposely not worked on Don Findy recently as every once in a while, with anything that I work on in length, I like to distance myself from the material. With a few of the recent drafts I have been looking at every word and sentence in too much detail and it became too familiar, so that I was likely to miss things and not edit properly. That’s not to say that Don Findy hasn’t been running through my mind, because it always does. The Wall is growing – as I’ve been adding to the plot all the time. I’m thinking that, a male character that I intend to introduce later – who was to become friends with Findy – will betray him to Toni which would both allow me to move the story along in a convincing way, as well as heightening Findy’s sense of isolation, which I might further echo with the death of the secretary which is only slightly referenced to.

I have now returned to my first three chapters of Findy and have, as I thought, found it easier to edit. Added to this, I have received feedback from my fellow writing friend Jason Kerry (see support work). His comments, added to my newly objective view, have allowed me to take the draft a step further.

It has also made me create a philosophy for the writing of my piece. I have previously mentioned James M. Cain’s The Postman Always Rings Twice (see support work) but it was only during this annotation of Jason’s comments that I realised how much his three words, ‘We did plenty’ actually mean to me. The words come at such a time in the novel that we don’t need any more than that. We know what Frank and Cora are up to because Cain’s prose leading to that point has already given us enough. The fact that this sentence is so short, and sharp, also allows the reader an element of freedom, as to the precise details, which creates an added excitement. Which is why I decided to print ‘We did plenty’ on a sheet of paper and add to The Wall. Less is often more, that is now my philosophy and I want to do it justice in the next rewrite of Don Findy.

What really motivated this decision was Jason’s comment on this piece from chapter three;

‘Sorry, I can’t,’ she said. ‘He’s here and he’s on the warpath. He might hear me and… Oh I don’t know what-'
‘I’ll take the case,’ I said before she became hysterical.
‘Thanks Don,’ she said quickly, ‘Goodbye.’
She put the phone down.
‘Goodbye,’ I said.

Jason suggested that I should change the last line to;

‘Goodbye,’ I said to nobody.

Which angered me. I feel that the ‘She put the phone down,’ line already suggested that he was talking to nobody and to add ‘to nobody’ just adds more words, making it clumsy. It adds nothing to the plot, story or situation.